Saturday, June 27, 2009

Pictures from the trip

I'm still on vacation, but I snagged a few pictures from the trip down and around.

Apparently, Wal-Mart still thinks its the year 2001.

A closed Hooters. I didn't think it was possible for a Hooters to close.

Could have also been titled 1966: The Greatest Year Ever.

The Snuggie is bad enough, but a bootleg generic Snuggie?

Don't be a victim, yo.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Kate Gosselin is officially a whore

Give the kid some fucking water. You really are the worst mother ever.

My favorite part, the kid asks for water, so Kate gets water and drinks it herself. Slut.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Perfect for meeting with clients.

Monday, June 15, 2009


An unfortunate casualty of last week's digital TV conversion was my beloved handheld Casio TV. With no slot to fit a converter, it is now useless. A victim of forced obsolescence, the Casio had served me well since 2001.

Purchased for me at KMart, of all places, by my mother for my 18th birthday, the TV was a trusted friend and companion on many nights spent in a dorm working various UT sports camps. While "working" basketball camp that summer, I was able to watch Dale Jr's triumph in Daytona on its 4-inch screen.

In the later years, the Casio was quite handy for watching shows and having background noise during many hard-fought NCAA Football battles on the PS2 and later PS3.

A great friend, the Casio was felled 11 days shy of its 8th birthday. Goodbye, old friend.

Good writing? Out of Alabama?

I really enjoyed this column sent to me out of the Birmingham News over the weekend:


"The fascination with college football is unhealthy in this state. It has left the realm of good-natured fun and evolved into hatred. If you don't believe that, tune to a call-in sports radio show or log onto one of the sports sites one day. Forget about Alabamians hating someone because of the color of their skin. Many Alabamians hate someone because of the color of their jerseys."

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Ten Ways To Better Punish Alabama in the Future

Arkansas fan spews pure genius:

My favorites:

1.) The NCAA hereby mandates that the University of Alabama for two years will not be allowed to sell any houndstooth clothing merchandise. Nor will any fan be allowed in the stadium wearing such clothing.

4.) The NCAA hereby mandates that the University of Alabama has to rename one campus building “Phil Fulmer Hall” for the period of the rest of Phillip Fulmer’s natural life. The building in question will be determined by Mr. Fulmer.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Definition of Irony

Alabama was put on probation by the NCAA for a scandal involving textbooks.

Knoxville Retail Awesomeness

This is original. And destined to fail.

And this is classic East Tennessee:

Cleveland, the gift that keeps on giving.

First, we have these videos, which I'm posting just incase some of you haven't seen them, and really shame on you if you haven't.

But, as the gift that keeps on giving, we now have this:

Highlights of the article:

"The Indians concluded that increased nesting on flat rooftop buildings in Cleveland's Flats district has led to the ballpark's problems.

The Flats used to be a district full of bars, restaurants and nightclubs along the Cuyahoga River, but now sits mostly desolate. Except, of course for the gulls, long a common sight along the shore of the roughly Vermont-sized lake."

The flats being, of course, what is referred to as the "Scooby-Doo Ghost Town" in the second Tourism video.

"There's what, 8,000 seagulls out there?" Yankees outfielder Nick Swisher said. "This ain't even the beach. It's Cleveland."

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

People amaze me.

Overheard tonight at the gym while sitting in the sauna:

(Woman enters talking on a cell phone) "Wow, it's really hot in here. I didn't think it was supposed to be this hot."

Really? Lady, its a sauna. It's hot.

She complained for the rest of the time I was in there, to her friend on the phone. Really?

Sorry, no pictures today. I'm buying a house, and there are exactly zero funny things going on at the bank.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Monday, June 8, 2009

This sums up the day, I think.

ESPN may actually be the Devil.

I've spent alot of time over the years defending ESPN. I've never bought that they had some sort of anti-Tennessee agenda. Yeah, they pimped Woodson for Heisman in 97, but I could see why they were trying to create a competition. The "trailer park" comment by Chris Fowler was pretty much spot-on (I mean, have you SEEN some of our fans?). The academic investigation had to happen with the seriousness (if later proved to be largely dilusional) of the accusations that Linda Bensel-Meyers made. The commercial with the pet pig and the lady in curlers was hilarious.

They've even done great things for UT. They have an unhealthy obsession with Bruce and Pat. A lovefest, if you will. Over a four year period (04-08), Tennessee softball was on the ESPN family more than any other school.

I've even done some work for ESPN. I'm a fan and a defender.

But now, even I have to wonder what their deal is. Wendy Nix comes to Knoxville to do what should have amounted to a fluff piece on Lane Kiffin. Instead, we got, right in the middle of the piece, a two minute rant from Al Davis and a scathing letter from the Raiders telling us as fans, not mention recuits watching around the country, what a huge liar and generally awful person they consider our new head coach be. Was that necessary?

I was mad at that point, but then the four-letter network really lowered the boom.

The ESPN cameras were set up in Kiffin's office as part of the all-access that they were granted by the staff. They elected to keep their cameras running as Monte Kiffin and another assistant led a recruit into the throphy room behind Kiffin's office. Publicising a recruit's visit is an NCAA violation. ESPN was giddy to point this out at the close of the story, after pointing out the number of secondary violations that Kiffin has already committed, a number it turns out is on par with most other major schools.

But Lane Kiffin didn't committ this violation. ESPN did. They know the rules. They made the decision to keep the cameras running, rules be damned. No network had ever shown a recruit meeting with a head coach on an unofficial visit before. This was going to be a great first for them, NCAA rules be damned. They had been granted all-access, and they used zero discretion. They even refused to let UT view the piece before it aired.

To make matters worse, the footage was recorded the weekend of the Orange and White game in April. Yes, April. They sat on this for nearly two months, knowing what they had. Their excuse is that nobody ever asked them to turn their cameras off. Noone should have had to. What they did was make the conscious decision to create news.

That is the biggest problem I am starting to have with ESPN. They have gotten out of the business of just reporting the news, now they feel like they have to help create the news. And that's exactly what they did here. They created news where there was none because it gives them something to talk about in a slow news cycle. You can bet this violation (that they created) will be a topic of discussion on all of their shows Monday.

In the interest of full disclosure, I haven't been Kiffin's biggest fan since he got here. I want him to prove something to me on the field before I start following him with blind faith. But no matter what, he's my coach and there's a bit of unconditional support that comes with that title. ESPN is wrong here, and they need to admit it. The media used to show some discretion, but that word is clearly no longer in the Worldwide Leader's vocabulary.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Why I love flea markets.

From a Saturday at Green Acres:

Who knew there would be a porn store? Oh, right, it's Alcoa Highway.

The Honey Place? Classy.

Here's the outside of the booth. Not pictured: Old, possibly mexican, man with long wooden stick, guarding the stand. He also sold axes and Chinese throwing stars.

It's probably too small to read in the picture, but the little white signs advertise what types of videos they offer. Including: Interracial, "Blacks," "Jenna Jeameson," "Meadgets," and, my favorite, "Pregrenent."

Our only question is whether it was homemade.

Some random photos just to start...

This reminds me of the bars on the ATT Cell Phone Commercial.

This guy, officially has the worst or at least most ironic job ever.

And who knew the sun needed an umbrella?

Is this the courthouse or the rhino exhibit at the zoo?

The beginning...

In the beginning...

... there was one crap post. More to come.

There will mostly be pictures here, taken around Knoxville. I see alot of amusing things while out, and I've developed an overwhelming need to share them. My comments on them are rarely going to be nice, and will almost always be highly inappropriate. That's how I roll.

Occasionally, I'll find it necessary to ramble on about a subject. Humor me.

Thanks for reading, that's all for now.