Thursday, November 19, 2009


This could ruin my holidays:

"Nestle — which sells nearly all the canned pumpkin in the U.S. — says poor weather hurt its harvest, creating a potential shortage of its Libby’s pumpkin pie products through the holidays."

Monday, November 16, 2009

Another reason Alabama sucks.

They still sell cassette tapes at gas stations. This photo was taken somewhere between the Alabama line and Birmingham. I don't know that the town even has a name. But God did they ever have cassette tapes. Glorious.

If you zoom in, you can see some of the names. Mostly people and groups that haven't had hits since cassette tapes actually existed. Pat Benetar, Styx, Peter Frampton, Peter Cetera. I was speechless.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Just in Case Rover Doesn't Have a Soul

This is truly amazing:

"For $110, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets offers a 10-year contract guaranteeing that an atheist will adopt the pet that's left behind by its raptured owner. Additional pets can be covered for $15."

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Quote of the Day

Courtsey of my friend Wes, re:Grambling University

"For a school whose alma mater is sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree," it's not exactly a warm and fuzzy place."

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Has Sex With a Horse

So glad to be from Tennessee:

"Sheriff's investigators said Tuesday that 58-year-old James Michael Tait was having sex with horses on a Maury County farm. The farm owner, 44-year-old Kenny Thomason, also was charged with animal cruelty."

Authorities charge 2 men in horse sex case

Why Minnesota Sucks.

I don't think God cares who wins football games, but I don't imagine the Almighty was going to grant the Gophers a bounce of the pigskin after this:

The I Am might give a little edge to the We Are in that situation.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

America. Where Crazy Cat Ladys Still Roam Free

"Firefighters found 36 cats on the property, Godawa said. Nine were dead and two more were taken for medical treatment by the rescue group ARNI."

Story Here:

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Josh McNeil Deserves Our Respect

A Must-Read From Clay Travis:

"What do you love more than football?

McNeil pauses and stares away into the distance.

"Nothing," he says, "but if you'd asked me two weeks ago, I'd have said 200 other things because every day was so miserable with the pain. But just two days without it and I'd give anything to be with those guys for one more day."

That's why Josh McNeil is coming back to football, even though he'll pay for every step and may not be as dominant as before. "I would rather be out there 75 percent of what I used to be and knowing the next play could cripple me for life than wonder what could have been.""

Friday, September 4, 2009

Hilarious post from an LSU board

This is the funniest thing I've seen in quite awhile.

Monday, August 17, 2009

I'd like to see Ed Orgeron coach this guy. Or Pat Summitt, for that matter.

Imagine the fireworks:

"I'm really not a disciplined running back," Williams said. "I run my way. I've had coaches who have tried to teach me how to do this, do that. And I just can't do it. At first, it didn't sit well with Coach Hite at all. He's constantly [saying], 'Hammer the hole, hammer the hole. Hammer, hammer, hammer.' He wants to see contact non-stop. I didn't listen to him that much. I try not to make the contact. I try to make the people miss.

"It's not like I can't run between the tackles or anything. I just choose not to."

Sweet, a guy that completely uncoachable. No risk of discipline problems here. None at all. 2-1 odds he ends up arrested before he's eligible to get drafted.

Why are the Raiders so messed up?

I was going to say that first it was Kiffin, but then I remembered that the fuckeduptedness goes back waaaaaay farther than that. But really, this????

"Oakland Raiders head coach Tom Cable punched one of his assistants on Aug. 6 at the team's training camp headquarters in Napa, Calif., several media outlets reported on Monday.

"It's an internal issue, I'm not going to comment on that," Cable said on Monday, according to the San Francisco Chronicle."

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Well, at least we know the police in Duuurty Chatt are good shots.

"CHATTANOOGA - Six Chattanooga police officers fired 59 bullets to subdue a suicidal armed man last month, a police spokeswoman said today.

A preliminary autopsy report shows the victim, Alonzo A. Heyward, 32, had 43 bullet holes in his body. Without question, those wounds led to his death, the medical examiner's report indicates. But police said the use of force wasn't excessive.

"When we are trained to shoot, we are trained to shoot until we subdue the threat," said Lt. Kim Noorbergen, police spokeswoman. "We are not trained to shoot to kill, as many people think.""

Um, it took 43 shots to "subdue" him? Really?

On a positive note, the cops went 43-59 on shots.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A Perfect Storm of Awesome

A story about a man in Columbia, S.C. having sex with a horse. Published by a newspaper in... ALABAMA. Apparently, people having sex with animals is breaking news down there.

"COLUMBIA, S.C. — A South Carolina man was charged with having sex with a horse after the animal's owner caught the act on videotape, then staked out the stable and caught him at shotgun point, authorities said Wednesday.

But this wasn't the first time Rodell Vereen has been charged with buggery. He pleaded guilty last year to having sex with the same horse after owner Barbara Kenley found him in the same stable and was sentenced to probation and placed on the state's sex offender list."

Police: Man caught on security camera having sex with horse

Old Man Cries, Nobody Listens

Using the age old excuse of "But mom! Evvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeerrrrrrryyyybody's doing it!"

"Life goes on," Bowden said. "We're not the only university that had something like this happen. It will happen again next year and the next year and the next year. Life will go on, you correct it and go to work."
This next part is just sad.

"Meanwhile, Bobby is hatching one final trick play. This one involves digging up what he says are 22 victories earned while he was coach at South Georgia Junior College from 1956-58. Asterisk that, NCAA.

"I've got to get put in the grave here one of these days ... " Bowden said. "It don't count to them. It does to me.""

Sunday, July 19, 2009

There's No Value in This

At no price would I consider two seasons of "Reba" on DVD any sort of value.

Hell, I Thought it Was a Fan

Apparently now it's an "Air Circulator"

What should I do with my fan now that it's outdated?

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

It's Going to Take Some Getting Used To.

The "New" Neyland Stadium. I like it, but it just doesn't look right.









For Once, I'm Going to Agree With Ukraine

They say that Bruno is immoral. I was thoroughly entertained by it, but I still have to agree:

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I'm Guessing That's Not a Diet Coke in Her Hand

Seen at Walmart.

EDSBS Strikes Again

With this total awesomeness:

What kills me is some of my fellow Tennessee fans making asses of themselves in the comments. Shit, don't take yourself so seriously.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

What's Wrong With America

Over the last few months, these people have started popping up all over Knoxville. They protest various labor-related disputes. They're set up on Middlebrook to protest a subcontractor that worked on KOC's new clinic. They've set up in front of a couple of Food City stores because their employees voted against unionizing. These guys are set up near a construction site in Bearden.

The right to protest is one of the things that makes America great. But these people are dead wrong. They are, in fact, protetsting the fact that, in this down economy, people are actually taking jobs and going to them every day, earning an honest living. They're mad the union isn't getting a cut.

So how do they protest? In lawn chairs with umbrellas and coolers. That's what makes me the most angry. Instead of going to real jobs and earning an honest living, these people are being paid to work on their tans next to a large sign.

They aren't hurting for cash either. The vehicle they were "working" out of appeared to be a very nice new truck. I ran the plates, and in fact it is a new truck that they paid over $30k for just a few months ago. Must be a nice job.

Check out any of their "protest" signs. They're sitting in lawn chairs just hanging out all day. The most "work" the guy pictured heredid on Friday was demanding that I delete the pictures I took of him.

See? Even he's embarassed by what he's doing. He should be. Forget Merit Construction, Shame on Him.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

You Can Do Anything if You Were Mayor of D.C.

Let's see, Marion Berry has (in order):

- Been elected mayor of DC

- Been caught on video smoking crack.

- Been re-elected mayor of DC

- Been arrested for possession of pot and cocaine

- Been elected to the DC Council

- Been put on probation for failing to pay taxes for "several years"

- Been re-elected to the DC Council

Now he's been arrested again, this time for stalking. Based on past events, he's a year away from being elected to something major.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Pictures from the trip

I'm still on vacation, but I snagged a few pictures from the trip down and around.

Apparently, Wal-Mart still thinks its the year 2001.

A closed Hooters. I didn't think it was possible for a Hooters to close.

Could have also been titled 1966: The Greatest Year Ever.

The Snuggie is bad enough, but a bootleg generic Snuggie?

Don't be a victim, yo.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Kate Gosselin is officially a whore

Give the kid some fucking water. You really are the worst mother ever.

My favorite part, the kid asks for water, so Kate gets water and drinks it herself. Slut.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Perfect for meeting with clients.

Monday, June 15, 2009


An unfortunate casualty of last week's digital TV conversion was my beloved handheld Casio TV. With no slot to fit a converter, it is now useless. A victim of forced obsolescence, the Casio had served me well since 2001.

Purchased for me at KMart, of all places, by my mother for my 18th birthday, the TV was a trusted friend and companion on many nights spent in a dorm working various UT sports camps. While "working" basketball camp that summer, I was able to watch Dale Jr's triumph in Daytona on its 4-inch screen.

In the later years, the Casio was quite handy for watching shows and having background noise during many hard-fought NCAA Football battles on the PS2 and later PS3.

A great friend, the Casio was felled 11 days shy of its 8th birthday. Goodbye, old friend.

Good writing? Out of Alabama?

I really enjoyed this column sent to me out of the Birmingham News over the weekend:


"The fascination with college football is unhealthy in this state. It has left the realm of good-natured fun and evolved into hatred. If you don't believe that, tune to a call-in sports radio show or log onto one of the sports sites one day. Forget about Alabamians hating someone because of the color of their skin. Many Alabamians hate someone because of the color of their jerseys."

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Ten Ways To Better Punish Alabama in the Future

Arkansas fan spews pure genius:

My favorites:

1.) The NCAA hereby mandates that the University of Alabama for two years will not be allowed to sell any houndstooth clothing merchandise. Nor will any fan be allowed in the stadium wearing such clothing.

4.) The NCAA hereby mandates that the University of Alabama has to rename one campus building “Phil Fulmer Hall” for the period of the rest of Phillip Fulmer’s natural life. The building in question will be determined by Mr. Fulmer.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Definition of Irony

Alabama was put on probation by the NCAA for a scandal involving textbooks.

Knoxville Retail Awesomeness

This is original. And destined to fail.

And this is classic East Tennessee:

Cleveland, the gift that keeps on giving.

First, we have these videos, which I'm posting just incase some of you haven't seen them, and really shame on you if you haven't.

But, as the gift that keeps on giving, we now have this:

Highlights of the article:

"The Indians concluded that increased nesting on flat rooftop buildings in Cleveland's Flats district has led to the ballpark's problems.

The Flats used to be a district full of bars, restaurants and nightclubs along the Cuyahoga River, but now sits mostly desolate. Except, of course for the gulls, long a common sight along the shore of the roughly Vermont-sized lake."

The flats being, of course, what is referred to as the "Scooby-Doo Ghost Town" in the second Tourism video.

"There's what, 8,000 seagulls out there?" Yankees outfielder Nick Swisher said. "This ain't even the beach. It's Cleveland."

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

People amaze me.

Overheard tonight at the gym while sitting in the sauna:

(Woman enters talking on a cell phone) "Wow, it's really hot in here. I didn't think it was supposed to be this hot."

Really? Lady, its a sauna. It's hot.

She complained for the rest of the time I was in there, to her friend on the phone. Really?

Sorry, no pictures today. I'm buying a house, and there are exactly zero funny things going on at the bank.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Monday, June 8, 2009

This sums up the day, I think.

ESPN may actually be the Devil.

I've spent alot of time over the years defending ESPN. I've never bought that they had some sort of anti-Tennessee agenda. Yeah, they pimped Woodson for Heisman in 97, but I could see why they were trying to create a competition. The "trailer park" comment by Chris Fowler was pretty much spot-on (I mean, have you SEEN some of our fans?). The academic investigation had to happen with the seriousness (if later proved to be largely dilusional) of the accusations that Linda Bensel-Meyers made. The commercial with the pet pig and the lady in curlers was hilarious.

They've even done great things for UT. They have an unhealthy obsession with Bruce and Pat. A lovefest, if you will. Over a four year period (04-08), Tennessee softball was on the ESPN family more than any other school.

I've even done some work for ESPN. I'm a fan and a defender.

But now, even I have to wonder what their deal is. Wendy Nix comes to Knoxville to do what should have amounted to a fluff piece on Lane Kiffin. Instead, we got, right in the middle of the piece, a two minute rant from Al Davis and a scathing letter from the Raiders telling us as fans, not mention recuits watching around the country, what a huge liar and generally awful person they consider our new head coach be. Was that necessary?

I was mad at that point, but then the four-letter network really lowered the boom.

The ESPN cameras were set up in Kiffin's office as part of the all-access that they were granted by the staff. They elected to keep their cameras running as Monte Kiffin and another assistant led a recruit into the throphy room behind Kiffin's office. Publicising a recruit's visit is an NCAA violation. ESPN was giddy to point this out at the close of the story, after pointing out the number of secondary violations that Kiffin has already committed, a number it turns out is on par with most other major schools.

But Lane Kiffin didn't committ this violation. ESPN did. They know the rules. They made the decision to keep the cameras running, rules be damned. No network had ever shown a recruit meeting with a head coach on an unofficial visit before. This was going to be a great first for them, NCAA rules be damned. They had been granted all-access, and they used zero discretion. They even refused to let UT view the piece before it aired.

To make matters worse, the footage was recorded the weekend of the Orange and White game in April. Yes, April. They sat on this for nearly two months, knowing what they had. Their excuse is that nobody ever asked them to turn their cameras off. Noone should have had to. What they did was make the conscious decision to create news.

That is the biggest problem I am starting to have with ESPN. They have gotten out of the business of just reporting the news, now they feel like they have to help create the news. And that's exactly what they did here. They created news where there was none because it gives them something to talk about in a slow news cycle. You can bet this violation (that they created) will be a topic of discussion on all of their shows Monday.

In the interest of full disclosure, I haven't been Kiffin's biggest fan since he got here. I want him to prove something to me on the field before I start following him with blind faith. But no matter what, he's my coach and there's a bit of unconditional support that comes with that title. ESPN is wrong here, and they need to admit it. The media used to show some discretion, but that word is clearly no longer in the Worldwide Leader's vocabulary.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Why I love flea markets.

From a Saturday at Green Acres:

Who knew there would be a porn store? Oh, right, it's Alcoa Highway.

The Honey Place? Classy.

Here's the outside of the booth. Not pictured: Old, possibly mexican, man with long wooden stick, guarding the stand. He also sold axes and Chinese throwing stars.

It's probably too small to read in the picture, but the little white signs advertise what types of videos they offer. Including: Interracial, "Blacks," "Jenna Jeameson," "Meadgets," and, my favorite, "Pregrenent."

Our only question is whether it was homemade.

Some random photos just to start...

This reminds me of the bars on the ATT Cell Phone Commercial.

This guy, officially has the worst or at least most ironic job ever.

And who knew the sun needed an umbrella?

Is this the courthouse or the rhino exhibit at the zoo?

The beginning...

In the beginning...

... there was one crap post. More to come.

There will mostly be pictures here, taken around Knoxville. I see alot of amusing things while out, and I've developed an overwhelming need to share them. My comments on them are rarely going to be nice, and will almost always be highly inappropriate. That's how I roll.

Occasionally, I'll find it necessary to ramble on about a subject. Humor me.

Thanks for reading, that's all for now.